{"id":2221480,"date":"2025-07-28T07:20:19","date_gmt":"2025-07-28T14:20:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tinybeans.com\/?p=2221480"},"modified":"2025-07-28T07:21:03","modified_gmt":"2025-07-28T14:21:03","slug":"stopped-sharing-kids-online-benefits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tinybeans.com\/stopped-sharing-kids-online-benefits\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Unexpected Things That Happened When I Stopped Sharing My Kids Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

When my kids were born<\/a>, especially my first, I did that thing where you cannot. stop. staring. at them, thinking, How is it possible that I just created this tiny human out of thin air?! <\/em>Immediately followed by: Are all of you seeing this?! I need everyone to bear witness IMMEDIATELY. (Why, yes, I was very chill. Why do you ask?)<\/em><\/p>\n

From day one, I couldn\u2019t stop snapping pics: that milk-drunk smile, a close-up of those genetically blessed lashes, a nap in the tightest swaddle<\/a> I could muster. While I didn\u2019t post every single one of my 50-something dailies, I kept up a steady pace that let everyone see what we were up to and where we were strolling. Before long, it was on to the toddler stage\u2014capturing sneaky smiles, playground treks, food-covered faces, and occasional (sure\u2026 let\u2019s stick with that) meltdowns<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I lived to give little updates on our adventures. Here we are grabbing ice cream! And in the car ride home after a day at the beach<\/a>! Was it a mistake to attempt a restaurant? Look at this chaos and you tell me (in the comments)! I became obsessed with posting just enough<\/em> and exactly the right mix<\/em> of shots and videos to chronicle our perfectly imperfect life.<\/p>\n

During every event or outing, there was a part of me that was thinking ahead to later that evening, when I could batch together the best snapshots so the people could see what we were up to. The compulsion to put our family on display<\/a> was so strong and such a common practice that I never stopped to think, Maybe just don\u2019t share for a change?<\/em><\/p>\n

So as a challenge, that\u2019s exactly what I did. What difference could it really make, I wondered. I quickly realized it was huge.<\/p>\n

I haven’t gotten into an argument with a kid over an outfit and have stopped caring how they look.<\/h2>\n

We are not\u2014and have never been\u2014a matchy-matchy, perfectly ironed and color-coordinated family. That\u2019s just a fashionable bridge too far. But there have been several times when my daughter demanded to wear a ratty old rainbow shirt that had seen (much) better days, and I cajoled her into wearing something \u201cnicer.\u201d<\/p>\n

Did it really matter? Not at all! But for some reason, I didn\u2019t want the \u2018Gram to see her in that tired top for the third time in a row and assume I never did laundry. Now that I\u2019m done posting, she can wear whatever she wants, whenever she wants, and I don\u2019t give it a second thought.<\/p>\n

I haven’t gotten bummed about how many likes I\u2019ve gotten.<\/h2>\n

More likes = more love, right? Obviously not. But there\u2019s an undeniable dopamine burst when you see those hearts and comments popping up after you\u2019ve posted the sweetest\/silliest\/most hilarious pic or reel. You\u2019ve nailed it! The people love it\u2014and you! And your family!<\/p>\n

Except when it feels like they don\u2019t. Was my caption not clever enough? Did I come off as unlikeable or out of touch? The truth is, you\u2019ll never know. It may even just be what the algorithm felt like serving up today. But not constantly checking in and reacting to the \u201csuccess\u201d of a post is even more freeing than you can imagine.<\/p>\n

I haven’t felt like a failure after not getting the “perfect shot.”<\/h2>\n

No family is perfect. We\u2019ve all internalized that message by now, yes? Social is simply a highlight reel, we are all just putting on performances, and so on and so forth. But it\u2019s one thing to logically know it and another to see story after story of kids that seem to be just a bit happier and funnier and more well-traveled and sun-kissed than your own.<\/p>\n

Related: My Insta \u201cFriends\u201d Are Mostly Strangers Now\u2014and As a Mom, It\u2019s Weirding Me Out<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

There used to be days when I drove myself crazy because one of my kids refused to open their eyes in what would otherwise be a perfect sunset shot. Or because we had a day when everyone genuinely got along (!), but I didn\u2019t get any proof of the sibling sweetness on film. In relinquishing my role as documentarian, I finally learned to stop caring\u2014and comparing. As it turns out, my kids are actual human beings with their own emotions and facial expressions, who can squint and be unphotogenic goofballs whenever they please.<\/p>\n

I haven’t stress-eaten ice cream after doomscrolling about predators. (I’ve stress-eaten ice cream for other reasons, like sleep regressions and unrelenting potty talk.)<\/h2>\n

To be honest, creepers weren\u2019t always at the top of my list of concerns. But the more I read, the more disturbed I was to discover stories of stolen identities<\/a> and scams tied to unsuspecting families<\/a>. The idea that someone could just pluck images from your life to build lies around and do with as they please is beyond unnerving\u2014and something we should all think about a bit more. Not to mention that plenty of the acquaintances you \u201cfriended\u201d over the years are kind of\u2026 strangers now. And not necessarily people I want to see my day-to-day whereabouts.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve stopped worrying about where my photos will end up.<\/h2>\n

Confession: I have never taken the time to read through the dozens and dozens of pages of terms and conditions for the various platforms and apps I use before agreeing to them. (I\u2019m going to guess you\u2019re in the same boat.) So concerns about who owns my images, where my photos and videos might ultimately land, and what future searches might surface them are all valid. It\u2019s murky territory, and it\u2019s terrifying. Taking the step to remove myself and my family\u2019s likenesses from public-facing platforms (as much as is possible)\u2014and instead opting for private photo-sharing on Tinybeans<\/a>\u2014is something that helps me sleep better at night. And it\u2019s a decision I\u2019ll never regret making.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The compulsion to put our family on display was so strong that I never stopped to think, ‘Maybe just don\u2019t share for a change?’<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":187728454,"featured_media":2221496,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"city":[551419385],"ml_tag_age":[700852499],"ml_tag_interest":[700852466],"ml_tag_season":[700852448],"ml_tag_holiday":[700852449],"class_list":["post-2221480","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","category-parenting-advice","category-personal-stories","category-tinybeans-news-and-stories","city-national","ml_tag_age-adults","ml_tag_interest-ice-cream","ml_tag_season-all-seasons","ml_tag_holiday-non-holiday"],"yoast_head":"\n5 Things That Happened When I Stopped Sharing My Kids Online<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The 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