{"id":2179726,"date":"2025-05-25T06:24:31","date_gmt":"2025-05-25T13:24:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tinybeans.com\/?p=2179726"},"modified":"2025-05-27T11:16:34","modified_gmt":"2025-05-27T18:16:34","slug":"new-mom-permission-list","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tinybeans.com\/new-mom-permission-list\/","title":{"rendered":"6 Things Every New Mom Is Scared to Do (But Shouldn\u2019t Be)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Being a mom is hard. Being a new mom is harder. Nothing prepares you<\/a> for the joy and awe (shock and terror) of holding your baby for the first time, regardless of how they made their way into your arms. Perhaps you have not slept<\/a> in more than 30 hours. Perhaps you ache. Perhaps you\u2019re floaty. Perhaps you\u2019re under the influence of heavy painkillers. Congratulations! At this low ebb of your existence, you will now assume care of another human being<\/a> for the first time. You deserve that Hunger Games<\/em> finger-kiss and a stiff drink. Neither is forthcoming.<\/p>\n

People are going to tell you terrible things. You will never shower again! You will never poop alone! Sleep will become a distant memory in the hazy caffeine tides of your life!<\/em> However, they<\/em> have an ironclad solution to all this nonsense. You will listen as they share it with all the fervency of a newly minted cult member. This makes being a new mom even harder. Suddenly, there are rules. You must obey the rules\u2014or you will break the baby.<\/p>\n

Take a deep breath; you will not break the baby. At this moment of doubt and panic, you don\u2019t<\/em> need more parenting advice. You\u2019ve sifted through a Google\u2019s worth of parenting advice<\/a>. What you need is to take it easy on yourself and to remember that you are allowed to…<\/p>\n

1. Feel scared, sad, and angry.<\/h3>\n

Sappy cards will call your child a \u201cbundle of joy.\u201d Newsflash: Your baby is a small human, not a gift bag of premium coffee. People will say they never knew love before seeing their newborn. But some moms feel apathy instead. Some become overwhelmed<\/a> by their sudden and irreversible life change. Some doubt they made the right decision about this whole parenting thing. Some feel all these things. None mean you love your baby less. You can love them desperately, want them desperately, and still wish you could run away. These are not mutually exclusive, and you are not a bad person. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you\u2019re feeling\u2014without the guilt trip. You don\u2019t deserve that.<\/p>\n

2. Ignore parenting gurus.<\/h3>\n

The world demands you pick a parenting philosophy as if you were writing a corporate mission statement instead of keeping a human happy. These philosophies come with rules. Did you sign up for a new religion? No? Then play cafeteria: Pick what seems good and leave the rest. Dr. Sears does not know your baby. I used to run a babywearing group, and some babies hated to be worn. Dr. Ferber also does not know your baby; my kids would\u2019ve lost their minds if I left them to cry. Take what works. Ditch the rest.<\/p>\n

3. Ignore absolutes.<\/h3>\n

One bottle will not give your baby nipple confusion. Crying for two minutes will not lead to attachment issues<\/a>. Wearing your baby will not spoil them. Ignore the all-or-nothing stuff. Take a deep breath. Does it sound extreme? It probably is.<\/p>\n

4. Trust your instincts.<\/h3>\n

You know your baby best. If something feels wrong, it\u2019s probably wrong; if something feels right, it\u2019s likely right. You have common sense. Listen to it and your gut. Does your baby kick and scream when they\u2019re swaddled? Maybe you shouldn\u2019t swaddle them, even if conventional wisdom says you should. Does your baby vomit and scream after every meal? Maybe you\u2019re right about that infant reflux thing. Always pay attention to your intuition.<\/p>\n

5. Go full mama bear.<\/h3>\n

If a stranger touches your baby, you don\u2019t have to smile. You can say, \u201cDon\u2019t touch my child.\u201d If your pediatrician won\u2019t believe that your baby\u2019s ill, you can say, \u201cWe need to reevaluate this.\u201d If your mother insists on using a bottle and you prefer breast, you can say, \u201cNo, this is what works for us, thanks.\u201d Having a baby gives you permission, more than ever before, to stand up for yourself\u2014and it\u2019s easier because you\u2019re standing up for a person you love. Be rude if you need to. Your baby is more important than someone else\u2019s feelings.<\/p>\n

6. Do “nothing.”<\/h3>\n

Who decided we should bring home a squally, inscrutable human being without language capabilities\u2026 and then clean the house in our \u201cdowntime\u201d? Were they male? Severe amnesiacs? Sadists? Mom, park yourself on the couch and do nothing. Watch those TV shows you\u2019re ashamed of. Drink tea. Wear a fancy robe. Your job is momming: You do not clean the house.<\/p>\n

You may find this difficult. Lean on the authority of your tea and fancy robe. Seriously\u2014they project devil-may-care noblesse oblige. You\u2019ll feel fancy, and you\u2019ll feel powerful, and you\u2019ll remember: All humans are not the same; therefore, all babies are not the same. What worked for one person may not work for you. All those you-shoulds and you-have-tos should come with big asterisks: I don\u2019t know you, your baby, or your life situation. What I\u2019m about to say is conditional on many things, and you should probably ignore most of it anyway.<\/em><\/p>\n

You have permission to ignore all advice. You have permission to take a deep breath and chill out. You have permission to ugly-cry. You have permission to sleep and shower as you see fit. New parenting is hard enough. Don\u2019t make it harder by stuffing down your feelings or obeying rules that feel wrong. Trust yourself. You\u2019ve got this.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This list might be the best thing we’ve ever read.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":187728377,"featured_media":2201505,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"city":[14331571,551419385],"ml_tag_age":[700852499],"ml_tag_interest":[700858106,700853552,700858413,700853186,700852778,700860788],"ml_tag_season":[700852448],"ml_tag_holiday":[700852449],"class_list":["post-2179726","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","category-parenting-advice","category-personal-stories","category-postpartum","category-pregnancy","city-baby","city-national","ml_tag_age-adults","ml_tag_interest-feel-scared","ml_tag_interest-having-a-baby","ml_tag_interest-moms-feel","ml_tag_interest-new-mom","ml_tag_interest-parenting-advice","ml_tag_interest-postpartum-recovery","ml_tag_season-all-seasons","ml_tag_holiday-non-holiday"],"yoast_head":"\n6 Things New Moms Are Scared to Do (But Shouldn\u2019t Be) - Tinybeans<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"New parenting is hard enough. 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