{"id":2102034,"date":"2025-06-18T12:02:39","date_gmt":"2025-06-18T19:02:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tinybeans.com\/?p=2102034"},"modified":"2025-06-19T12:20:07","modified_gmt":"2025-06-19T19:20:07","slug":"ways-to-deal-with-toddler-tantrums","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tinybeans.com\/ways-to-deal-with-toddler-tantrums\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ways to Deal with Toddler Tantrums without Losing Your Cool (According to Experts)"},"content":{"rendered":"

When it comes to universal kid truths, the fact that toddlers have tantrums pretty much tops the list (just ask this news anchor mom<\/a>). On the flip side is another truth\u2014handling tantrums can be really tough for parents. The good news is parents and caregivers can help little ones deal with their very big feelings<\/a> that show up as toddler tantrums, using specific strategies that can benefit everyone.<\/p>\n

1. Acknowledge (and Name) Their Feelings<\/h3>\n

The Situation: <\/strong>My daughter and I have spent a lot of time at the playground recently. If it were up to her, she\u2019d play all day. Eventually, we have to go pick up a sibling from school or have lunch, or do something else. She\u2019s disappointed we have to go and isn\u2019t afraid to show it. Cue the toddler tantrum.<\/p>\n

The Solution: <\/strong>Julietta Skoog, nationally certified school psychologist and co-founder of Sproutable<\/a>, a company that supports parents in growing remarkable kids through classes, coaching, and video content, explains that tantrums are a form of communication\u2014one that lets parents know their kids don\u2019t feel understood. She suggests validating and acknowledging those feelings. Use simple phrases like \u201cI can see you\u2019re disappointed\u201d or \u201cI know you want to stay at the playground.\u201d Neurologically speaking, when our kids are losing it, their feelings are on red alert. Naming their feeling triggers the amygdala (the part of our brain that processes emotions) and helps kids flip the switch to green. It reassures them, lets them regroup, and returns them to the rational side of their brain.<\/p>\n

Bonus tip: <\/em>If possible, let your kid have a situational do-over after they\u2019ve recovered, like saying \u201cbye-bye\u201d to the playground.<\/p>\n

2. Model Behavior<\/h3>\n

The Situation:<\/strong> I\u2019ve had more than one night where I\u2019m juggling making dinner while helping my big kids with homework when my toddler melts down. Whether she\u2019s hungry, not getting enough attention, or just feels overwhelmed, she\u2019s had enough and I\u2019m feeling stretched.<\/p>\n

The Strategy:<\/strong> Dr. Alison Scott, a Seattle-area pediatrician, offers a great reminder for situations like these. Toddlers don\u2019t have the coping skills we do. Scott suggests parents show kids how it\u2019s done by modeling appropriate behavior. Try saying something like, \u201cI see you\u2019re having a hard time. I\u2019m having a hard time, too.\u201d Then take a few deep breaths or find a quiet place to sit down. Basically, do what you do when you\u2019re feeling overwhelmed. Your kids will notice and eventually follow suit.<\/p>\n

Related: 6 Phrases to Avoid Saying to Your Toddler<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/figure>
iStock<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

3. Let Them Know What They Can Do<\/h3>\n

The Situation:<\/strong> If you know a toddler, you know how wildly stubborn they are. When my daughter wants to play with her sister\u2019s off-limits toys or insists on going barefoot in the middle of winter, she\u2019s not interested in being told \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Strategy<\/strong>: For these moments, Skoog explains that framing the situation as a positive\u2014one you can say yes to\u2014is a way to be firm but kind. So when my toddler melts down because her sister won\u2019t let her play with her doll, a simple re-frame is in order: \u201cYes, you want to play dolls. Let\u2019s go get your dolls so you can.\u201d Similarly, letting her know \u201cwe can go outside when you\u2019ve put your shoes on,\u201d helps her see what she can do, rather than what she can\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Bonus tip:<\/em> Be selective about saying no and don\u2019t give in to tantrums because it might reinforce unwanted behavior.<\/p>\n

4. Remove Yourself or Your Audience<\/h3>\n

The Situation:<\/strong> If you haven\u2019t had a toddler lose it in public<\/a>, are you even a parent? For all the times I\u2019ve been in the toy aisle at Target and my daughter spies a must-have toy I have no intention of buying, the tantrum potential is high. It’s hard not to give in when you know it would stop that toddler tantrum.<\/p>\n

The Strategy:<\/strong> Scott recommends an \u201cextract and distract\u201d approach. Skoog expands, saying parents can remove themselves from the environment or ask those they’re with to give them a minute. Finding a more private place lets kids know that you’ve got time and space to deal with whatever is going on. Once you\u2019re out of the situation, it\u2019s time to redirect or offer comfort. The goal here is \u201cconnection before correction.\u201d Try softening your approach and getting down on the same level as your kiddo for extra impact.<\/p>\n

Bonus tip: <\/em>It’s natural to view our tot’s tantrums as a reflection of our parenting. But tantrums are a natural part of development, and when we remove our feelings from the situation, we can be more responsive, attentive, and attuned to what’s really going on.<\/p>\n

5. Be Consistent with Routines<\/h3>\n

The Situation: <\/strong>Like all kids, toddlers love routine. But with two much-older kids, there are days my two-year-old doesn\u2019t get to follow hers. She misses naps or stays up past bedtime on the regular, thanks so the noisy tween and teen down the hall.<\/p>\n

The Strategy: <\/strong>If you have to disrupt the routine, be prepared. Watch for your kid’s cues, Scott says, and try to prevent the outburst. Pack extra snacks, bring along a lovey, or try to distract toddlers on the verge. The bottom line is, there’s no “secret sauce” to prevention. In that case, ignoring the tantrum is an option. Make sure your tot is safe and let it take its course.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you haven\u2019t had a toddler lose it in public, are you even a parent?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47668802,"featured_media":2102035,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"tags":[700860946,175135144],"city":[551419385],"ml_tag_age":[700852499,700852432],"ml_tag_interest":[700854763,700852609,700860951,700859621,700857080,700853160,700857928,700859500],"ml_tag_season":[700852448],"ml_tag_holiday":[700852449],"class_list":["post-2102034","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-baby-help","category-mom-hacks","category-parenting","category-parenting-advice","category-toddler","tag-feel","tag-natl-feed","city-national","ml_tag_age-adults","ml_tag_age-all-ages","ml_tag_interest-feel-overwhelmed","ml_tag_interest-know-how","ml_tag_interest-secret-sauce","ml_tag_interest-subscription-box","ml_tag_interest-tantrum","ml_tag_interest-teen","ml_tag_interest-toddler-tantrums","ml_tag_interest-winter","ml_tag_season-all-seasons","ml_tag_holiday-non-holiday"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Deal with Toddler Tantrums in 5 Steps - Tinybeans<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Toddler tantrums are just as hard on parents as they are for kids. 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